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Colouring Book

by T-Bird

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1.
There's a monster coming after me Even though I'm who I was born to be I'm strong and witty and capable of anything But there's a monster coming after me I know every hallway in my house Every closet, little cracks, and secret ways out I know all the people that live on my street With perfect square yards that they keep real neat There's an atlas in my drawer with little lines that lead To every corner of the world that is sovereign and free My car can take me to boat or a plane And the money in my wallet can get me the fuck away But there's a monster coming after me Even though I was raised by a perfect family I've got all my friends and a college degree But there's a monster coming after me I want to be saved because I earned it I don't deserve this because I didn't ask for it I've got a lover who truly loves me She lies next to me when I sleep Got a dog and insurance and vacation days And a cabin in the woods right next to the lake There's a monster coming after me Even though I say my prayers and wear my rosary God is with me and my soul is his to keep But there's a monster coming after me
2.
This flower is for you I found it long ago in the playground at school The very same spot I fell and lost my first tooth The petals were yellow and the sky above was blue It died in a glass of water on my windowsill It was all dried up and very still By then it was the first thing I'd ever killed Here, this flower is for you Since then I've seen so many flowers And I've picked some of those flowers And I've given some of those flowers But this flower is for you My shirt was speckled with mud, my face smeared with ice cream I was six years old and my lungs were clean I wasn't hoping for anything This flower ain't a flower But you know what I mean
3.
I wish people weren't people I wish they were drawn on a page That I could turn, or close the book and throw it away I wish people weren't people I wish they were beasts with bones in their teeth Green-skinned, naked, every one of them ugly I wish people weren't people I wish they were delusions in my brain And I could blame myself, all alone and insane I could die right now while I'm still alive There are so many eyes They might as well be God I wish people weren't people I wish they were oxygen And I could breathe and never see them I wish people weren't people I wish they were just places I've never been to A list I've never made of things I'd never do
4.
I promise I'll be a good boy Do my homework before I play with my toys I'll stand in line at the water fountain And spend my life climbing the OK mountain I promise to hold your hand while I cross the street Be nice to every human even if they are mean Search for perfect happiness until I've found it Then thank God above from the top of the OK mountain I promise to never smoke cigarettes I'll leave the whiskey on the shelf no matter how hard it gets I'll be the stronger man while all the weak ones flounder There's only room for me up top of the OK mountain I promise to fulfill my childhood dreams Build a big house and keep it real clean Until heaven's trumpets start sounding Then I'll float up to the sky and forget the OK mountain
5.
I love you in every dimension If I was a spider I wouldn't bite you I'd stay in my web beneath the radiator And eat the gnats If I was a psychopathic murderer I wouldn't kill you I'd slaughter politicians Use their skin to make you fancy hats If I was a Catholic priest I wouldn't say no to you I'd throw my rosary in the fire Let the podium conduct Sunday mass If I was a ghost I wouldn't freak you out I'd sit with the gnomes on your front lawn And scare the brats off of your grass
6.
Enjoy your walk Walk slowly Listen to your hearts beat Count the ants on the concrete Smell someone is grilling meat somewhere you cannot see Walk by the church you don't believe Wipe the sweat from your brow with your sleeve Breathe the air that isn't clean Love each other when you're old and mean
7.
Our Garden 01:11
Our garden is miles and miles away Past many houses, streets, and driveways Sometimes it snows, sometimes it rains I think about our garden everyday
8.
(instrumental)
9.
Sober Fish 02:03
Sober fish swimming in the sea The water ain't an ocean, and it ain't deep I want to be just like him Just sharks out there, no sharks inside of me I've got fins and scales and I'm blue and yellow The sun shines through the water and I sparkle I can't speak or sing I just make bubbles Those aren't scuba-clad humans filming a documentary No, they are just angels checking in on me This is not my life This is just the world
10.
Sad Day 02:08
This sad day is the voice in this song My brain's an empty room and someone left the radio on I'll leave a message, listen to it when I get back Like a survivor reading a note after aliens have attacked I will try the very best I can To make something nice like a flower painted on a garbage can I'm afraid the stink of this alley will drive you away Leave you wishing for the static blanket of grocery store airplay This ain't a story, just shitty poetry In a moldy book in an empty library I didn't write the words, but the words are about me I want to be free but I'm not and I'm sorry
11.
Neverender 02:37
(instrumental)
12.
This will be the house we build somewhere in Nebraska This will be the rain on the prairie that lulls us to sleep This will be the hot air balloon that floats by on a Sunday This will be the spider in the bathroom that makes you scream This will be my head on your shoulder whenever you are sad
13.
I want you to be free I want your apples to taste like candy I want to make you cry because you love me Not make you fake a smile because you hate me I want you to be happy Make you think of pumpkin pie when you lie in a pile of dead leaves I want to sleep next to you when you are asleep Know our roots are tangled like a pair of Cottonwood trees
14.
Dog on the lawn You smell like the air outside Empty bottles lay in the grass for days Save a cigarette for bedtime Tell me I need a vacation It's okay, been a long time since my last nightmare My biggest waste of time this year Was an unsatisfying book
15.
I don't want a gun I don't want a parade I don't want to sing the national anthem At the baseball game I don't want to drink To kill the pain I don't want to eat a hot dog At the baseball game I don't want a piece of paper To speak for my brain I don't want to sit with you or anyone else At the baseball game
16.
You hate those church bells ringing And those dogs free of their leashes Those cat-calling cowards in their cars And flowers on the tree that leave you sneezing But everything is love Everything exists to remind me of you Everything is love You hate when I am right And when I don't shave off my sideburns Those times when I refuse to say a word Leave you thinking I'm trying to piss you off But everything is love Everything I do is because I love you Everything is love You hate that this is so hard And that I don't know what else to do Those empty nights filled with empty sounds Filled me up and now I'm floating away But everything is love You are my world, so you know I'm somewhere Everything is love You know so much more than me And you can wait to cry until you're all alone You can see the brighter side of total darkness You are the land that all the weak ones live on

credits

released June 26, 2016

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T-Bird Lincoln, Nebraska

T-Bird is Tony Lien--a food service worker who lives in Lincoln, Nebraska. He is a largely self-taught musician who has been writing/recording music for 12 years. His music is also available in physical form upon request (cassettes released by his home label: Space Bob Tapes). ... more

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